Today I Bathed in the Fountain of Eternal Euthanasia

As is frightfully obvious, this is the first post to this web diary. And as usual, I find myself with nothing to say, nothing, at least, that anyone would want to hear. I swear that someday, I will fall, crack my head open, and a deafening rush of words will spew forth from the chasm, flattening entire city blocks with their wit and rage. Images so sharp and clear that they shatter the eyes of unfortunate onlookers will appear around my poor shattered head. Those words and pictures will suddenly inhabit the very souls of those who did not have the sense to turn away and cover their eyes and ears, and their faces will melt away, leaving bare skulls to roll from their helpless and utterly insufficient spines.

But until then, my friend, pull up a chair and have a beer.